Reflections on Vegas will have to be done après kip. Ta tuirse on domhain orm. Must sleep for days. Then work out what i thought on what i can only describe as “the n!pple on the t!t of capital!sm”.

“Don’t ask me how I know but this but the old saying ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ doesn’t wash with the cops” was the first thing our captain said to us when we got in the plane.

I’d been down in San Diego for two nights and was getting a South Western flight back to McCarren for my return flight to Gatwick. Where I would have an eleven hour wait (who oh who booked these flights?!) before returning to Dublinia.

The cabin crew on this plane were stand up comedians of epic proportions. Referring to our destination as “Viva Lost Wages” and a “nice and cool 98 degrees.”

Other classic quotes include:

“Wear your belt like Britney Spears wears her pants, low and on the hips.”

“There’s a no smoking rule in our potties, and there is a fine of $2,000 should you break this rule. Lets face it, if you were going to spend that much money on a flight you would have booked with Delta. “

“This is a non smoking, non whining, non complaining flight.”

“In the event of a loss in cabin pressure, immediately stop screaming and put the cup shaped thingy over your face. Should you be sitting by a young child or a person acting like a young child, bad luck.”

“If this is your first time flying, please wave both your arms in the air for the duration of the ride.”

As we hurtled down the runway about to take off, the PA blares out “run phorest run!”

“The cabin princesses will now be passing through the aircraft collecting your garbage and anything else you want to give them. This includes spare twenties, credit cards and diamond earrings.”

When the plane landed and the doors opened, just a “get out!” was shouted over the PA. The funniest flight I have ever had.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 12th, 2007 at 9:57 pm and is filed underRoss, WSOP 2007 You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.