Hello everyone. The first thing I have to do this week is correct a little oversight from last week’s article. When I was speaking about the mysterious new poker sensation Isildur1 last week, I said “The other day he was playing Patrik Antonius, David Benyamine and Tom Dwan over different tables and destroying them all. You would think that playing six and seven tables against the very best players in the world could not possibly be profitable”.
Of course what I failed to remember is that David Benyamine is French. As such he is unworthy of complimentary remarks so I apologise for this oversight and would just like to set the record straight by rephrasing that sentence as follows: “You would think that playing six and seven tables against two of the very best players in the world, plus one beret-wearing garlic muncher whose countrymen cheat at football, could not possibly be profitable”. There, glad to set the record straight. Nothing personal David, but you know how it is old boy.
I had a great laugh last week at a comment a certain Mr “Michelle Platini” left in the comments section under my article. Unfortunately whoever put it there has taken his comment back down for some reason, but he fired off a right load of abuse and finished by saying I was a “disgusting incubus”. Well I’d certainly never been called an “incubus” before. Not knowing what this meant I scuttled off to look the word up and I have to say it is one of the more interesting words in the English dictionary.
An “incubus” is a sort of disgusting goblin that rapes women in their sleep. Well I didn’t see that coming! The actual definition was “a male demon believed to lie on sleeping persons and to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women”. I quickly spread my new found knowledge around, not wanting to keep this little gem to myself. And on Sunday, a friend of mine who had witnessed Tottenham’s 9-1 demolition of Wigan, informed me on returning from White Hart Lane that Defoe had been “absolutely magic. He was charging round that pitch like an incubus”. Quite!
Jermain Defoe "doing an incubus"
Getting back to Isildur1, it would appear he has been on the wrong end of a few beatings from Patrik Antonius in the past couple of weeks, which just goes to show he is human after all. On 16 November the world record for the largest ever online pot was smashed, with Antonius winning $879,959 in a single hand of pot limit omaha.
Antonius held Ah-Qc-9s-6h and Isildur1 had As-Ks-Qd-Th.
The board was: 5h-7h-Qs-Ad-8d
When the money went in with one card to come a split pot was the favourite outcome as they both had top two pair but an 8 on the river gave Antonius his straight and the 879 grand was shoved in his direction. As you can tell, these boys don’t sit about waiting for the nuts to get their money in.
Last Saturday was even more remarkable, with Isildur1 getting involved in 5 pots over $800’000 in one night. The record was not only broken but completely and utterly smashed during this session. Again it was Antonius against Isildur1 and again it was Antonius who won the pot, a massive $1,356,947.
Isildur1 had 9s 8h 7d 6d and Antonius held Ah Kh Ks 3s.
On the board was 5c 4s 2h 5h 9c
This time all the money went in on the flop. I shudder to think what was going through Antonius’s mind as the turn and river were dealt. He already had a straight but as you know in Omaha, straights are vulnerable. Isildur1 still had 12 outs twice. I’ve a much better idea what was going through Isildur1’s mind than Antonius’s- something like…
Three, six, seven, eight
THREE, SIX, SEVEN EIGHT!
THREE, SIX, SEVEN, OR A ****ING EIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
……..OH SH*T
Poor old Isildur1. He was $6 million up a couple of weeks ago but thanks to Phil Ivey and Patrick Antonius he was ground back down to almost zero, before a little bounce saw him $1.2 million up. And still his identity remains a secret to all but a few.
One of the most laughable suggestions I heard was that Isildur1 is a robot. A robot being used at the highest stakes and playing heads up against the best players in the world? Not only that but with thousands of railbirds as well? It’s such a risible suggestion and it is literally more likely that Tony Blair is playing those cards than a robot.
Personally I believe that robots will never have the edge over humans at no limit poker. Of course that’s not to say that computers are not sophisticated enough because they are. Robots now have the edge over humans at chess but in chess they have perfect information – they can see all the pieces on the board. In poker the robot can’t see your hole cards and that is a big difference. Also, there is the element of human competition. People get emotional when they are playing. Even online you can tell when people are steaming a bit. A human can pick this up and take advantage but a robot can’t.
I can’t explain it exactly, in the same way I can’t explain why when one top darts player bangs in a 180 his opponent will often rise to the occasion and bang in a 180 himself. There’s something about human competition which brings out the best in people.
One thing which is not in dispute is that Isildur1 has got balls of steel. But you have to question the wisdom of taking on Tom Dwan, Phil Ivey and Patrick Antonius, especially at the same time. I’m not after timing here just because he got beaten recently but I think maybe he has got just a bit too much gamble in him for his own good. Surely it would just be easier to find a softer game?
There can be a tremendous amount of ego at the top level of poker. People want to be seen to be playing against the best opponents so that other people will judge them as the best if they win. But I don’t think Isildur1 is guilty of that. After all, he hasn’t even revealed his identity so he can hardy be accused of seeking the limelight. I think in his case he has just got an unhealthy amount of gamble in him.
Another way of looking at it is that these guys only want to play at high stakes and the problem is that at the limits they want to play the only other opponents are other sharks. Like a group of cannibals who only have themselves left to feast on.
An expression I’ve heard a lot recently is “Bum Hunter”. The term is used to describe players who go out of their way to pick opponents that they know are inferior. The term is nearly always used with derision towards whoever the bum hunter is. For instance “so and so is just a bum hunter, he should get himself a proper game”. (It’s a bit like when people use the expression “so and so is such a do-gooder”. It’s nearly always said with contempt towards these people, who are by definition, just doing good things. I’ve never really understood that).
Game selection is an important skill in poker if you do it professionally and it’s nothing to be sneezed at. I wish I could sit down heads up with someone I could guarantee to beat 60% of the time, let alone 80% of the time. If you sit down with Ivey, Antonius and Dwan and co, by definition your game selection is not good. Most of us would never be a favourite and even if you’re running super hot you will only be a marginal one at best.
So who is the best player out of that lot? In fact, who is the best player in the world today? Most people would probably say Phil Ivey when asked that question but I heard a different viewpoint this week which I happened to agree with. It is probably none of them. It is probably someone you have never heard of. The best player in the world might be playing $1-2 stakes and maybe only makes one mistake every thousand hands. They might just not want to play higher limits.
It might not sound likely but as an example, I know a player who will not move from his $3-6 no limit game. He plays 4 tables for 5 hours a day and plays 5 days a week. And he makes £30k a month. He tells me he averages one losing day out of 20 and I ask him why does he not step up and play higher? He knows he could step up but as he destroys his $3-6 game on a regular basis he doesn’t see the need. He’s got no interest in going to Las Vegas, playing the big tournaments or making a name for himself. He has no ego and he only does it for the money. Incredibly, he told me that he doesn’t even enjoy putting in the hours that he does! You would have only ever heard of him if you played his $3-6 game and he is blissfully anonymous. But I am sure this player would not disgrace himself at any level.
While the high stakes poker world has been illuminated by the emergence of Isildur1, spare a thought for these young ladies:
“Forty-two elderly women found themselves on the wrong side of Greek Cypriot law after a private poker and gin rummy session round one of their houses resulted in the group being taken off to jail en masse and booked, before being released. The incident took place around 6pm on Sunday in Ayios Ioannis, Limassol, after neighbours starting complaining about the noise of the women’s movements to and from the house. On arriving at the private home, police found several rooms containing green felted tables, 546 chips, 530 playing cards and approximately €100 in cash. The women were aged between seventy-five and ninety-five”
Well if you do the crime you’ve got to do the time I suppose. So they were carted off to the nick with their combined 100 euros as evidence, all 42 of them, including the 95 year old. Let’s hope she learns a lesson and doesn’t allow her ego to dominate her game selection in future - that way she might grow up to have a successful poker career.
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